Why The Check Is Late

If you’ve run out of excuses, try the following:

10. You can expect our check to mysteriously appear on your coffee table within 18 months.

9. In response to the invoice you faxed us for "immediate payment", we faxed you a check. Why haven’t you cashed it?

8. The exact date you can expect payment may be found at our web site -- www.we-don’t-know.com.

7. Our new corporate mangled care health plan provided by Dr. Kevorkian has increased absentee rate among our staff.

6. The new CheckWriter95 program from Microsoft delivers checks 14 months late. Maybe.

5. We are withholding payment until we obtain your mother’s maiden name and the social security number of your first born child per new IRS regulations.

4. Our best practices consultant told us to combine all invoices onto a single check. A check for all of your 1997 invoices will be printed on December 31.

3. Our recent conversion to the Hebrew calendar has created a Year 5000 glitch in our software.

2. Your invoice was paid in soft dollars and will be mailed when the check hardens.

1. The check is in the e-mail.